Lonley

Sitting in my dorm room right now, with my roommate out (my other roommate dropped out of school).
Feeling a little lonely as usual without the company of others.
I remember at the beginning of the year, where I felt perfectly content without the company of others. In fact, I enjoyed just taking a stroll out by myself. I would confidently look onwards and straight ahead to my destination.
I don't know what changed, but I rarely go out now, and when I do...my gaze is downward cast, fearing to look anyone in the eyes. I feel so introverted. I miss some of the friends I had made. I don't understand why and how I had lost contact with them and how my life has become like this.
I would rather be in a group of friends, feeling lonely than to be by myself and feeling alone.
Regardless of whether I have company or not, I would feel lonely.
Along with the rush of life, I think I have lost myself. I'm different from the me in the beginning of the year, and I don't know if I like it.
Yes, I am more mature now, but the me in the beginning was so..bright, so exciting yet, sensible.
Now, I'm dull, systematic.

I don't know what I have done wrong.
Why do you guys keep walking away?
I hope that things can get better.
I want my friends and I to talk again.

I want to stop crying.